我選擇敬拜 I choose worship

Yesterday was a day I had emotional moments , feeling down when I think of all the risks I have to face compare with other cancer patients, (will the chemo medication affect my heart which is persistently in AFib and A Flutter, I am  triple negative, no treatment to prevent the return of the cancer for 5 years... etc). 


I wrote to my heart surgeon asking about the risks concerns, Is my heart strong enough for all the 18 weeks, non stop chemo? Will I died on the surgery table after the chemo?


He was so kind and wrote back immediately, telling me that it was the worst case scenarios worried me. .


And yesterday, I also received a card just in time from Mrs. Ruth Finley, mentioned "never doubt in dark to those things God taught us in light". That helped me to count my life blessings and came out from the emotions.



last night before bed, after our singing time with Simon, I told the Lord:



Lord, I choose worship .
I choose to tell you all my anxiety and uneasiness.
I pour them out to you completely
until I can worship you, praise and bless your name,
and be still and know you're God.
Because you my king.


我選擇敬拜
主啊，

我選擇把任何不安感覺，焦虑心情透過告訴你，傾瀉給你，

直到我能敬拜你，稱謝你，尊崇你，知道你是神。
因為你是我的安息之所。

主，你就是我心中的王。 (inspired by teaching of Dr. Ho Kit)