要求多多 ? Demanding ?

手術前，我問麻醉師，可不可以為我作以下的祝福:-

"Esther ,隨着這個手術，你會很安舒，因為你是神所愛的，祂在這裏與你同在。

隨着這個手術，你的生命會更蒙福，因為你所信的耶穌基督，是你奇妙的醫治者，也是你的喜樂和你的力量。" 

感謝神，在迷迷糊糊的情況下，我知道麻醉師一直這樣溫柔地祝福我， 我就安然地被麻醉了。

感謝主，范牧師說我醒過來第一句說話是: " 讚美神，感謝主耶穌基督； 我很OK“。神沒有忘記我的請求。范牧師說: ”神真好，祂對你真好！！“

When the anesthesia doctor called me over the phone, I asked whether she can bless me as I am going under anesthesia, thanks to God, she was more than willing to bless me with the following Statement:

'Following this operation, Esther, you will feel comfortable and you will heal well. For you are beloved by God and He is with you here".

" Following this operation, you life will be much more blessed, for The Lord Jesus Christ you trust, is your wonderful healer also your joy and strength ."

As I was going under anesthesia, I heard she 's blessing me tenderly......

Thanks God that He does remind me to say "Praise God, Thank your Lord Jesus Christ, I am OK" , the first thing I spoke, as I woke up from surgery and saw Simon.  and Simon said, "Thanks God, He is really Good to you !!!

手術前的蒙恩 Blessing Before Surgery

手術前，我們整家人一齊有一個小小的聚會。

1.     范牧師帶領我們唱: “這是耶和華所定的日子”這首歌。因為手術原是定於6月12日，後來神很奇妙地安排在7月16日；推遲了一個月，讓我心跳和體力都夠好才接受手術。我的腫瘤醫生對於手術日子由六月12延到7月16日，她是有擔心的，她希望我越早做越好。感謝主，腫瘤繼續縮小，手術候檢查的結果，腫瘤大小2.5mm，像一粒紅豆的大小。神的時間是最好的。因為這是耶和華所定的日子。

2.      跟着讀詩篇121篇，因為爾珩和爾立懂得背這詩篇。

3.     然後每人為我簡單地祝福；大家很開開心心地把我交托給主。

感謝主。手術前後都有許多位弟兄姊妹為我守望。我未到醫院已有兩位代禱者， Mamie 和Nick已在那兒為我禱告。一辦完註冊，教會吳牧師和金牧師就來到，大家齊心為我禱告。禱告中，護士來找我作手術前的準備；進去的時候，見到一個很面善的護士站在那裏。她一見到我，就對那護士說。「你去照顧另外一位病人，讓我來照顧這位Auntie。」原來他是雋恩大學時期團契裏的一位團友，是手術準備室的主管，見到雋恩推着我進去，就主動來照顧我，並且蒙她為我禱告祝福。感謝主。

感謝神，手術前，我有機會為手術醫生和麻醉師祝福，讓他們成為神所使用的醫治器皿。

The night before surgery,  we had a mini worship and prayer together as a family.

1.     We sang "This Is The Day, That The Lord  Has Made".   The surgery date was changed from June 12 to July 16,  it was His arrangement that I can have one more month to get ready for the surgery.  Even though my oncologist has some concern and would like to have the surgery  as soon as possible.  Thanks to God, the cancer lump continued to shrink to  2.5mm.   For this is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.

2.     We read Psalm 121 together, for both Katelyn and Jakin know how to recite this Psalm.

3.     Then each one bless  me with prayer and  happily commit me to His hands.

I am so thankful for the prayer support to cover me, round the clock, before and after.  Before I arrived  for surgery registration, Mamie and Nick already there to pray for me, right after registration,  Pastor  David and Pastor Sion came, and  prayed for  me.   While entering for  pre-op,  the head nurse in charge the pre-op ,recognized Ernest,  and came over to take care of me, also prayed for me.  Both she and Ernest were in the same cell group when they were in college.  How blessed I was.

Thanks to God, I was able to pray for the  surgeon, and  the anesthesia doctor.  We, Simon, Ernest, Dr. John Stevenson and Dr. Angela Fang ,all held hands and prayed together.  What a blessing.

頭髮出來了 New Hair

Cool Present Look  !

好快，後天就接受手術了。

在上‘快些康復’課時候，講者提到可以預先想一下當我做完手術候醒過來，見到家人時朋友，第一句會說甚麼。 我要說: “讚美主，感謝神， 我很好”， 而期待家人朋友說:“感謝主，天父對你真好”。請為我禱告，讓我記得，不要忘記。

打從上禮拜開始，阿恩有時會看我的頭，發現有些短短的頭髮在長。這兩天，自己手摸頭皮也覺得有些短髮。由於我只接受5個禮拜的化療，故此頭髮只脫落95%，還剩下5%。現在這模樣。香港來的會記得蘿蘭在神雕俠侶中演的裘千尺這武林高手嗎?我像不像? 

三年前心臟手術前的一晚，我做了以下的禱告，對我仍很幫助:- 

我選擇信靠
沒有信靠，心情由焦虑控制，生活是繃緊的，使我疲累。
我選擇相信我是蒙父神憐愛的，和祂對我的肯定。
我選擇相信神會成就祂的應許，更新我對祂的愛。
主，幫助我對你忠誠，去經歷你那達至高天，永不動搖的的信實。

我選擇喜樂
我相信神會將新的喜樂賜給我，
為每一日都會享受到陽光，為每一口的呼吸，為每一個更正常的心跳而喜樂；
更為神會在我每一日的際遇中，與我相會和同行來喜樂；
為我會更珍惜，欣賞，感謝家人和弟兄姊妹對我付出的關心和愛而喜樂。
主，你就是我心中的喜樂。

我選擇平安
我相信神會將新的平安賜給我，主啊，
因為這是你留下的應許， 你要把你自己的平安，是世人不認識的平安賜給我，
我選擇把任何不安感覺，焦虑心情透過告訴你，傾瀉給你，
直到我能敬拜你，稱謝你，尊崇你，知道你是神。因為你是我的安息之所。
主，你就是我心中的平安。

Surgery in 2 days ! The "Heal Fast" workshop taught us to think about what I would like to say as I wake up from the surgery and see my family and friends. I would like to give thanks to God, so, please ask the Lord to remind me to say ," ,"Praise Lord, Thank you God, I am OK".  and my family and friends there will say, "Thank God, He is really Good to you,".

Ernest had searching my head to find if there's any new grow hair, and he did.  these couple days, I also felt it.  Since I only had chemo for 5 weeks, so I still can keep 5% of my original hair.  My present look is like that.  Pretty Good !

I had a very intensive heart surgery almost 3 years ago, the night before surgery, I did the following prayer, and now still helpful to prepare me for the coming surgery.

I chose trust.
Without trust, I'll controlled by anxiety. Life will be tense  and tiring.
I chose to believe that I am approved and beloved by Father God.
I chose faith because He keeps his promises and will renew my love for Him.
Lord, help me to commit into your faithfulness so that I can  experience  your highest and unchangeable faithfulness!

I chose to rejoice.
I trust God will renew my joy in Him for the days to come.
I will rejoice for the everyday sunshine, for every breath , every normal
heart beat I am going to have.
I will rejoice for you will meet me in every circumstances and walk with me.
I will rejoice for better appreciate and treasure the love and care from my
family members, brothers and sisters in Christ.
Lord, you are my Joy!

I chose peace.
I trust God will renew the peace in me. Lord,
It is because this is your promise. You promised to give your peace to me,
the peace unknown to the world.
I chose to tell you all my anxiety and uneasiness. I pour them out to you
completely
until I can worship you, praise and bless you,
and be still and know you're God. Because you my rest.
Lord, you are my peace!

禱告的奇妙 Prayer Support

今日(主日)雋恩給我帶來了他教會小組，一個我不認識的家庭給我的卡和一份電力開花的禮物，(他們小組經常也為我禱告)。

謝謝大家從我開始接受化療就一直為我禱告。讓療程從原定的18次，減為12次，再減為5次。當中經歷了許多來自神的教導，和我認為是神蹟的保守。

7月7日那天去醫院上了一堂2個小時的幫助手術康復得更好的課程，其中一點特別提到的是朋友、家人的支持系統是康復得好的一個因素。主講者說，「千萬不要不讓人知道你生病了，請讓那些關心你的人知道；你要想像，親友的支持就如一張明亮、和暖的毯子，把你遮蓋和溫柔地覆護著你…」

是的，我從確診乳腺癌後，弟兄姊妹的禱告，就是這張明亮、溫暖、柔和、充滿愛和關切的毯子，父神用之來把我呵護著，承載著…。

另外，一位許久沒有通消息的弟兄也托雋恩告訴我「打好這場仗」。今天靈修時唱的十首讚美詩，都是圍繞「爭戰，基督精兵」這主題，傍晚收到Derek Prince Ministry 的靈修小品電郵，題目居然是“爭戰之日”。其實，弟兄姊妹的禱告，還有另一奇妙，就是同心作戰。

Dr. David Eckman教導以弗所6章的全副軍裝時指出，這段經文，不是單指個別信徒要穿上全副軍裝，乃是當時的元帥對整營羅馬兵所發的號令，「敵人來攻了，現在大家都要穿上全副軍裝」；跟著軍兵們就排成方陣上場迎敵。今天崇拜後，Elice  姊妹說，「師母，我們預備好了，16號一同打」。

我極為感激，深深地經歷著，代禱就是一同打仗，一同站立，基督身體內任何一個肢體的受苦，都不是單打獨鬥的事，乃是整營軍兵的事。故此，我也每天為那些代禱名單上的肢體禱告，分7天，每天二十多位。

感謝主，代禱勇士的禱告，不但是神所使用，四圍安營來搭救我的天使，也是一同打仗的戰士。故此，16號那天我只管安然入手術室，去經歷神﹗因為，「耶和華必為你們爭戰、你們只管靜默、不要作聲。」出埃及記 14:14

Today (7/12 Sunday) Ernest brought me a gift and a get well card from one family (I have not met them) of his church cell group who has been praying for me.

Thanks for all the prayers since chemo treatment which enabled the treatment cut from 18 to 12 and finally completed at the 5th week. I surely experiencing God's miraculous protection and life changing lessions.

July 7, I attended the workshop on 'prepare for surgery, heal faster', one of the steps taught was: organize a support group.  The instructor said, "you have to let those who care about you know that you are sick; imagine, their support and caring is like a blanket of love, warm, bright and softly cover you..." 

Yes, all your prayers has been this special blanket of love, so bright, warm, soft and has been used by Father God to sustain and cover me graciously.

Ernest also brought me  a message from a church friend that we did not connect for quiet a time, "Please fight a good fight, I am with you". Interestingly, the 10 hymns I sang as my devotional worship were all regarding "Battle, Christian Soldier", by Sunday evening, the devotional message from Derek Prince Ministry was "In the Day of Battle"Ps110:3

Dr. David Eckman has said that the scripture of Eph 6, the full armor is not only for one individual solder, but was a typical command from the Roman soldier commander to the whole legion : "get ready, enemy is coming, everyone has to put on the full armor, and fight together". Then the soldiers fought in testudo shape.  After Sunday service, Sister Elice said, "We are ready, fight together on the 16th."

Yes,pray means fight together, to stand together, any suffering of a Christian is all related to one another.  Therefore, I also pray for my prayer supporters, each day about twenty some.

Thank God for all the prayers, not only are the angelic help, but also the soldier who fight together. Therefore, I will going thru the surgery in peace to experience God again, for  The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. Exodus 14:14

註冊結婚的日子

昨天，七月九日是范牧師和我在41年前在香港結婚註冊的日子，(婚禮是八月十日在教會舉行)。 故此昨晚就叫了外賣，吃了枝竹羊肉飯來吃，因我極為知足和感恩。

我倆相識、戀愛，結婚，整整半個世紀，如今我年老多病了，能有如此一位良伴！特別三年前心臟手術以來，范牧師一直盡心看顧我，他的啤酒肚也因此不見了。三月底的乳癌確診以來，佷大的感恩是有范牧師在身邊。

昨晚睡前的禱告就按詩篇129所說，從年幼以來，雖然敵人多次苦害，卻沒有勝過來數算神恩。

我有四兄弟姊妹。1949年哥4歲，我2 歲多，弟弟才滿月，父親就帶著母親、我和弟弟離開福州到香港。把是長子嫡孫的哥哥留在祖父母身邊。兩年後，當時母親懷了妹妹，父親返中國探母病，就身陷牢中，後遣到內蒙勞改，一去24年。

我常覺得生命中最大的缺憾就是沒有父愛。但昨晚數了一下，4兄弟姊妹中，我享受父愛最長，有4年多。我為此大大感恩。

這次癌病，讓我感覺最深的是，父神那無微不致的愛: 祂在我自己發現有硬塊的當晚就告訴我，「祂是我父，祂最關心的是我的情緒，特別是我懼怕的時候，祂會保護我。」透過疾病，父神親自填補我人生的大洞洞。我感恩。

其實，范牧師是一位很「父親」型的丈夫，他顧家，愛兒子，愛妻子，現在又有兒孫去愛；父神一早已在這方面特別關照了我。 

在治療過程中，我經歷了中神院牧楊錫鏘牧師所教導的重回父懷這美好經歷。祂是我的創造者，故此祂澈底地認識我和知道我；因為我是祂設計的，就如一個建築師設計一座建築物，他當然對這建築的結構、素材和特點瞭如指掌。祂的知道我，不僅僅是預知，而是由於我是祂親自設計和創造的。

這樣子透過在病中學習信靠神之為父的愛憐，和祂對我情況的完全了解；神使用我的病來帶領我和祂重新建立關係，重而再去尋找神之造我，對我整個存在的意義在哪。我感恩。只不過覺得實在太後知後覺，時不与我了。

下個禮拜四是動手術切除右乳和腋下淋疤的日子，光是這件有「父親」保護的提醒，就等如打了一口強心針。加上有王虹姊妹發出在手術那天的24小時禱告這個保護網，心中更加平安。謝謝你們大家。