八點關機 off @ 8

自從心臟開刀之後，睡眠質素就一直不好。每兩個小時就會醒一次，有時可以睡回去，有時就睡不回去。雖然如此，我仍然很多時候會在晚上，總是要范牧師三催四後才肯關電腦。

決定不做放療 ，體力精神慢慢從化療和手術恢復過來，我又開始故態復萌： 十點過後才關機，和范牧師一同讀經禱告後，已是11點過後，在床上輾轉反側至是12點多才能入睡。

由於防止淋巴水腫要戴上手套這件事，令我開始留心生命裏邊有什麼慣性的行為是不討神喜悅的。在聖靈的提醒下，我看到自己是一個沒有節制的人，不能結出聖靈的果子，反而令聖靈擔憂，這是一種罪。

感謝神的提醒和光照，這個發現令我對日常生活作息的規律有一個全新的看法，過去，即使是身體健康這理由，知道不要花太多時間上網、做東做西，我都無法在八點之前關上電腦；但一旦發現這是個不討神喜悅和令聖靈擔憂的態度後，我可以說是沒有掙扎地不費吹灰之力，就開始培養這個“得自由”的習慣。（除了星期一星期二晚上有網上禱告這兩晚。)

感謝主，這是祂的憐憫。我心欣喜地歌頌救主，因祂使我得自由。Sing, O Sing of my redeemer, with His blood, He purchased me. In the Cross, He sealed my pardon, paid the debt and made me free.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p8THfJihuc

After heart surgery, My sleeping quality became poor. Often wake up every two hours,  sometimes cannot go back to sleep. Nevertheless, I still stay late.

As I began to be more sensitive to what kind of habit and attitude I have in life, I began to aware that I am a person without discipline, which is not pleasing God at all and causing the Holy Spirit to grieve, to me, that's sin. 

That gives me a new perspective to my daily life. In the past, the knowledge of knowing sleep early is good for health, could not help me to reduce the time spending on computer, once I found this is not pleasing God, it become very easy for me to shut off the computer after 8pm,( except for Monday and Tuesday, these two night I have skype prayer ). 

I am so thankful that He has such mercy on me to develop this habit. Sing, O Sing of my redeemer, with His blood, He purchased me. In the Cross, He sealed my pardon, paid the debt and made me free.

幾十年的團友 Friends

中秋迎月那天，得到教我拉筋和深呼吸的譚豐雅老師師母，和認識有60年的香港教會團契的大哥哥大姐姐，饒約翰伉儷同來探望關心；饒大哥哥大姐姐可說是看著我長大的。主恩實在很多。

9/26 Friends from HK church came to visit, M/M John Yiu together with my stretching exercise teacher M/M Paul Tam, The Yius know me since I was 8. I found the picture with Mrs. Yiu when I was 18.

50 years ago

中秋當日，還見到一位40年前我在一個教會擔任青少年團契導師時的團友來美訪友時到教會見面，告訴我他們一直有我的消息和同心代禱。照片攝於40年前
9/27 another friend Sau Jan from HK that Simon and I ministered together in another church, came to worship together， and told me that their church also praying for me. photo taken 40 years ago, they came to visit us after I gave birth to Ernest. 

手套隨想 Thoughts on Glove

「范師母，你的手是否有事，總見你帶着手套的。」偶爾，有人會問。

手術後，因為摘除了在腋窩部份、屬免疫系統的淋巴結，醫生囑咐日後右手不能用來量血壓、打針、抽血、曬太陽、甚至不能被蚊蟲咬。為了保護右手，所以我經常都帶着手套。目的就是避免讓右手有任何發炎。

要經常小心保護右手，免得有任何損傷這件事，令我想到，其實人對罪的免疫力是極低的，說實的，是沒有，只不過我們沒有在意；所以很容易在心思意念和行為上得罪神。每次帶上手套，都提醒我要小心保守我的心，要經常求神鑒察，求聖靈光照裏面有什麼惡行沒有；在一些平常不太留意、慣做的事上，有沒有給魔鬼留地步。這也是這次手術後，神用來提醒我的一個、經常在學習的功課。

我開始一個操練，就是花點時間先想一下今天會做些什麼事，在某些事上我經常的反應會怎樣，是否會給惡者留了地步，能否像帶手套該怎樣，預先防範一下。對心急的我來說，是一個很要緊、但卻不易做的操練。

感謝憐憫的父神， 祂讓我開始學習......

"Esther, something happen to your hand ? always see you wearing a glove." Occasionally, someone will ask.

After the surgery, because the removal of the  lymph nodes which belong to the immune system, the doctor told me that for the rest of my life, no  blood pressure measurement, injections, nor any blood work can be done on my right hand, I have to avoid sun burn and even any mosquito or insect bites. Therefore, I often have to wear a glove to avoid any inflammation.

Being so cautious to protect the right hand, caused me to realize that, in fact, human's immune to sin is extremely low, actually not at all; only we do not aware. Every gloving, reminds me has to guard my heart, search me O God always, if there's any wicked way in me.....specially in those things that I get used to do with my own habit  that is not pleasing Him. I am thankful that God use the surgery to teach me this important but not easy lesson.

During the past few weeks, one practice method is to take time to think about what need to be done for that day, what are the some habitual methods of doing things or reactions I would have, will that leave rooms for the evil one? Being a person with not much patience, I found it surly is very challenging, and God has mercy on me that I am willing to begin this learning....